Official writ from the Headquarters of the Dutch Rudder Trading Company:
To the Board of Directors at the Dutch Rudder House,
An account of actions undertaken by the Company on the 10th of May, 2014 in J140642 against ships flying the flag of the Science and Trade Institute and a defense against accusations of piracy by the very same.
----------
By a Staff Officer
----------
Malception, commander of the Infidel, thus named in the angry-spaghetti script of all Hajis everywhere.
The aforementioned system had been under surveillance by a Company ship under the command of No'Wai Amagawd, newly-returned from shore-leave and the co-author of the infamous No'Wai-Malception Law. Captain Amagawd signaled to the rest of the fleet, once more commanded by Torshawna aboard the flagship One Flourish to Burn, that he had spotted neutral activity in the open at which point our fleet made full sail to the nearest wormhole that would provide entrance to where the targets were located.
Upon entering the system we found the targets to be on the wormhole to high security space and engaged them there for lack of a better option. As they all jumped out a Navy-issued Caracal landed several kilometers off of the wormhole. Our Stratios cruisers made short work of the vessel, but the pilot's escape pod slipped away.
Many of the modules remained intact within the wreckage and they were of some value.
What followed were immediate accusations of piracy on the part of the Company by the captain of the destroyed vessel whose unmitigated stupidity was highly entertaining for those of us involved. The commander of the fleet was the first to receive communications from our most recent victim.
An EVE mail from the idiot:
PIRATE
From: themoron Sent: 2014.05.11 00:18
To: Torshawna,
Fuck you.
...Followed by chat conversation:
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:32 ] Torshawna > why so rude?
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:36 ] themoron > thats why
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:38 ] themoron > in the wormhole
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:47 ] Torshawna > we didn't get the pod
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:00 ] themoron > Yeah, well you're still a douche
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:06 ] Torshawna > what for?
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:07 ] themoron > enjoy your bounties
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:14 ] Torshawna > for playing the game?
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:22 ] Torshawna > don't fly in wormhole space if you don't want the risk
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:47 ] themoron > You have a choice to camp, just like I have a choice to go there. We were just exploring
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:54 ] Torshawna > we didn't camp
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:59 ] themoron > ergo, enjoy the bounties
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:05 ] themoron > no, you saw noob ships
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:13 ] themoron > and thought itd be fun to open up
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:17 ] themoron > which makes you a douche
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:23 ] Torshawna > alright
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:32 ] Torshawna > let me say this to
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:36 ] Torshawna > you'll feel a lot better
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:53 ] Torshawna > May the Rudder always guide you into Orgasm Harbor. It's been a pleasure sailing with :)
[ 2014.05.11 00:22:41 ] themoron > what, your 3 month old corp
[ 2014.05.11 00:22:42 ] themoron > zzzz
[ 2014.05.11 00:25:41 ] Torshawna > lol
[ 2014.05.11 00:25:48 ] Torshawna > you can smalk taK ALL YOU WANT
[ 2014.05.11 00:26:00 ] Torshawna > the fact that you are idiots, doesn't hurt my feelings
Some post facto intelligence gathering has yielded the following gems: a little behind-the-scenes write-up by the pilot's acquaintance as well as a conversation between the pilot of the Navy Caracal and his more experienced, but vastly more impoverished friend.
In accordance with policies a priori zero shits have been given over this incident and all butthurt has been collected to be used as ballast for our vessels.
Upon entering the system we found the targets to be on the wormhole to high security space and engaged them there for lack of a better option. As they all jumped out a Navy-issued Caracal landed several kilometers off of the wormhole. Our Stratios cruisers made short work of the vessel, but the pilot's escape pod slipped away.
Many of the modules remained intact within the wreckage and they were of some value.
What followed were immediate accusations of piracy on the part of the Company by the captain of the destroyed vessel whose unmitigated stupidity was highly entertaining for those of us involved. The commander of the fleet was the first to receive communications from our most recent victim.
An EVE mail from the idiot:
PIRATE
From: themoron Sent: 2014.05.11 00:18
To: Torshawna,
Fuck you.
...Followed by chat conversation:
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:32 ] Torshawna > why so rude?
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:36 ] themoron > thats why
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:38 ] themoron > in the wormhole
[ 2014.05.11 00:19:47 ] Torshawna > we didn't get the pod
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:00 ] themoron > Yeah, well you're still a douche
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:06 ] Torshawna > what for?
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:07 ] themoron > enjoy your bounties
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:14 ] Torshawna > for playing the game?
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:22 ] Torshawna > don't fly in wormhole space if you don't want the risk
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:47 ] themoron > You have a choice to camp, just like I have a choice to go there. We were just exploring
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:54 ] Torshawna > we didn't camp
[ 2014.05.11 00:20:59 ] themoron > ergo, enjoy the bounties
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:05 ] themoron > no, you saw noob ships
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:13 ] themoron > and thought itd be fun to open up
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:17 ] themoron > which makes you a douche
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:23 ] Torshawna > alright
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:32 ] Torshawna > let me say this to
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:36 ] Torshawna > you'll feel a lot better
[ 2014.05.11 00:21:53 ] Torshawna > May the Rudder always guide you into Orgasm Harbor. It's been a pleasure sailing with :)
[ 2014.05.11 00:22:41 ] themoron > what, your 3 month old corp
[ 2014.05.11 00:22:42 ] themoron > zzzz
[ 2014.05.11 00:25:41 ] Torshawna > lol
[ 2014.05.11 00:25:48 ] Torshawna > you can smalk taK ALL YOU WANT
[ 2014.05.11 00:26:00 ] Torshawna > the fact that you are idiots, doesn't hurt my feelings
Some post facto intelligence gathering has yielded the following gems: a little behind-the-scenes write-up by the pilot's acquaintance as well as a conversation between the pilot of the Navy Caracal and his more experienced, but vastly more impoverished friend.
In accordance with policies a priori zero shits have been given over this incident and all butthurt has been collected to be used as ballast for our vessels.
No comments:
Post a Comment